Guest Blogger: Punxsutawney Phil

Guest Blogger: Punxsutawney Phil 

Many people are coming down hard on Punxsutawney Phil for seeing his shadow and predicting 6 more weeks of winter.  But, it’s not really his fault and he reached out to this blog to express his thoughts.  He doesn’t type so he called the YaJagoff secret, blog phone line and filed this report on our ground hog interpreting app.

I’d like to tell the humans a few things.

Seriously… everyone makes fun of me.. but the t-shirt, mug and hat royalties of this gig are awesome let alone the food and the traveling that I get to do! Um… I mean….everyone jokes about all of the bright lights and me seeing my shadow… seriously, come up with something new if you’re gonna throw shade my way and get all up in my two-toothed grill! You’re the ones watching it on TV and waiting to see what I say!

Side note, have ya ever seen how I get picked up?  My stomach up into my throat and it causes me esophageal reflux problems.  For a month after Groundhog Day, I eat nothing but Tums…. the woodchip flavored ones!

One other thing while I’m letting loose, Gus, the PA Lottery sleazy bookie nearly ruined my life when he was around before. He’s the guy that made the rest of us serious groundhogs actors bad.  He’s schlock talent! And now he’s back in that gig?

Lastly…..you all made fun of the lights, the warm days that followed my prediction, he fact that I’m just a silly rodent and that people from my town are all crazy….. I said 6 more weeks of winter and look what happened!

#PhilSaidItWould, Ya Jagoffs!

Celebrity Groundhog Thoughts and Font Impersonated