Aug 28 2017
Pretty sure there ain’t a Hallmark card for this day. But it is really National Crackers Over the Keyboard Day and, I plan on celebrating with a vengeance.
Apparently, you are supposed to start today’s holiday celebration by flipping your keyboard upside down and dumping out whatever things have accumulated since last year, i.e., dead skin flakes, boogers, crackers from last year’s celebration, paper clips and/or maybe even some ramen noodle pieces. And then, you can eat whatever crackers you have over that hazmat petri dish keyboard.
On the other hand, is your I.T. person really the person you want to tick off? I mean, we all know the stereotype I.T. person that loves to investigate your computer for days with zero regards to how long it’s taking you to work on your spreadsheet calculations on an abacus. Or the I.T. person who takes 5 Help Desk requests and an “escalate this issue” call to their boss before they mozy over to your cubicle to sit down and say, “Let’s seeeee here…” as they ask you questions that are nearly impossible to answer like, “What version of Windows are you using?” Or, the one who, you bump into a lunch and you say, “Can I show you this one thing on my laptop?” to which they respond, “You’ll have to submit a Help Desk request.”
Side Note: Coming from an EMS/ambulance background, I always thought it might be interesting if the I.T. person experienced chest pains, while in my cubicle, and asked for my help to which I’d say, “Did you put a help desk request in on this yet? I can’t really do anything until I get a ticket number.”
So I’m gonna eat me some crackers over the keyboard all day today. I’m gonna laugh the entire time about how hard my I.T. service person is gonna have to work to dig that stuff outta there. I may badmouth their attire and affinity toward Pokemon Go. I might even put some peanut butter on those crackers!
Then again, maybe I should just celebrate this holiday by using my keyboard and computer to make a card that I can give my I.T. person tomorrow. A card that might say, “Dear I.T. person, I am really, really, really sorry that I celebrated National Crackers Over the Keyboard Day. I’m also sorry for all of the I.T. person jokes that I made at your expense and even more sorry for all of my help requests over the past year! How long will it take to process my current cracker-related Help Desk ticket?” And, of course, it would have to be one of those cash-holder cards!
So on second thought, go ahead and celebrate National Crackers Over Keyboard Day if ya wanna! Me? I’m sitting this one out! My I.T. person owns me! Enjoy your sloppy-eating cracker habits, Ya Jagoffs!