Sep 8 2017
Had a Jagoff post ready to go today but then this Breaking Jagoff News came into the Jagoff news desk. Amazon.com (If you’re old you think of them as the online book people. If you’re hip, this is where you order everything from your 37th iPhone charging cord to a kitchen table.), is looking to locate a 2nd headquarters office somewhere in the United States.
- 50,000 people
- $5 billion dollars of local investment
- All kinds of extra blah, blah, blah that sounds really good
Local officials are now working diligently on the enticement package to draw Amazon to the Western Pennsylvania area. So, we thought we’d help. Here’s are the top 5 1/2 reasons why Amazon.com should locate their new HQ2 here.
(Why 5 and 1/2? Because creating a list of 10 seemed like a lot to do when I was writing this in the wee hours and I felt guilty about only doing 5 when there are soooooo many reasons why they should come here.)
- Rick Sebak is here. He’s done shows about pies, bakeries, hot dogs or the Pittsburgh neighborhoods and, 35 years from now, because Rick is timeless, he will still look exactly the same and be able to do one of his scrapbook stories on why Amazon came to Pittsburgh.
- We have innovative green energy sources. We have wind turbines here and we can build more. The only thing we have to do is bundle up a bunch of Pittsburghers (who are willing to do shift work), stand them in front of the turbines, and then alternatively show them big-screen pics of baseball umpire Jerry Meals, Tom Brady, The Cleveland Brown’s Doug Pound and Flyers Fans burning a Pens flag and…. well.. you will have enough hot air to spin those turbines so much that we will be selling electricity to New York City.
- Best skyline ever. Hands down, the most picturesque skyline in the country. The place looks good even when it doesn’t get up in time to throw some makeup on. And we have Dave Dicello to take pics of their new HQ as the sun rises over it!
- Our universities are awesome. I only know that because there’s a constant flow of national stories about inventions and apps being developed here by them. Most of those stories make me feel inadequate and sad that I didn’t pay more attention in math, physics, science and chemistry classes, but I can handle it.
- Weather. The weather here changes which is awesome and sucky depending on the particular day but Jim Cantore has NEVER had to come here to report a weather disaster!
5.5 The YaJagoff Podcast is based here. Just sayin…
OK.. put your additional reasons in the comments below and then go order a bunch of stuff from Amazon over the next few weeks. Kinda like ya used to order nonsense magazines from Publisher’s Clearing House because you thought that would help ya win the big jackpot!
Steeler Fans: OddessyOnline.com
Jim Cantore: YouTube
Pittsburgh Skyline: DaveDiCello.com
Rick Sebak: Wikipedia
University Campus: Society19.com