Keep Away

 

Welcome to our regular Saturday feature “What Aggravates Me”

Are you ready for some football? Of course you are. It’s been almost three months since the Penguins won the Stanley Cup and there has been no professional sports in this town unless you want to count…You really don’t want to count the Pirates do you?

I’ve been trying not to write about them. You know, just ignore them and they’ll go away. It just seems like a lot of the fan base is finally getting as disgusted with ownership as me. OK, most of you will never allow yourself to loathe an individual the way I do Bob Nutting, but some of you are at least trying.

As you get older, time begins to move really fast. The years just fly by. Still, the 98 win season was only two years back, but it seems like a long time ago. After that season, we had reason to believe the team was close to a championship. Just add a player or two, maybe bolster the pitching staff and give it your best shot.

That’s what good ownership would have done. Unfortunately, Bob “Ka-Ching” Nutting is far from being a good owner. In fact, if he’s not the worst in professional sports, he’s in the top three. We get spoiled in Pittsburgh with the high standard of ownership set by the Steelers and Penguins. They do what it takes to win. The Pirates do what it takes to put money in Nutting’s pocket.

First of all, look at the guy. Do you think he grew up with an interest in sports? When the other kids were playing baseball, little Bobby Nutting was busy playing a game of “Banker and Foreclosure.” While other kids found joy in getting a hit or making a nice catch, little Bobby found gratification by seizing his best friends treehouse.

I’m tired of hearing how the Pirates can’t compete because of the market size. Cleveland and Kansas City are similar size and have been to the last three World Series. How can they do that? Their owner doesn’t feel the need to make as much profit as Mr. “Ka-Ching” Nutting.

The only way the Pirates will ever have a chance at getting to the World Series is under new ownership. How do we get him to sell? Cut his profit. How do we cut his profit? STOP GOING TO THE DAMN GAMES!

I know,

“But what about “Pup night?”

Who’s your dog, Scooby-Doo? You’re dog doesn’t want to go to the game.

“But, the kids like to go to eat and watch fireworks.”

Take them to Kennywood. They’ll have a better time.

Attendance is down this year, but not enough. He’s still crunching numbers to make the maximum profit. They let Juan Nicasio go for nothing because they knew another team would pick up the $600,000 remaining on his contract for the rest of the season. Where did that money go?

“Ka-Ching!”

The Phillies picked up Nicasio and then turned around and traded him to St. Louis for a prospect. So, the Phillies got something out of the guy the Pirates were forced to unload because attendance is down and Nutting needed to see a bigger profit…even your dog had to say “Rah-Roh” on that one.

So let’s send a message next year. On opening day, if there are more players on the field than people in the stands, we will be heard.

“Sell the team, and don’t let the door hit you in the ass!”

I know, I know…the people that show up on dog night and fireworks night, don’t really care about the game. What can we do? We need to combine Pup night and Fireworks night. I mean, is there a better combination than dogs and fireworks? That’ll keep them out of there. Then the rest of us can keep away in hoards. I think we can, c’mon…

“LET’S DO IT!”

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JohnKnight