Dec 8 2011
Only two days left in our online auction of “Don’t Be A Jagoff” t-shirts!! Click on the link below.
But now it’s time for our final guest blog for a while. It’s from Stevie, author of the blog, “High Heels and Hockey.” Check it aht! In the meantime, here’s Stevie’s rant:
Traffic in Pittsburgh is a fact of life. Same goes for construction. The two are synonymous with one another. Turn up the music in your car and just enjoy the down time! There is nothing else you can do. Sorry about your luck if you have to cross two bridges to travel anywhere during rush hours, morning or evening. Heaven forbid you need to drive down East Carson outbound from town around 5:00!
I won’t even get started on the cluster eff that is the Squirrel Hill Tunnels and the Parkway East (inbound and outbound!) Oh my God!!! It’s a TUNNEL! HIT THE BREAKS!!!!! Jagoffs.
The worst part of traffic is the horn blowers. The “Maybe if I lay on my horn I can make the traffic move faster” jagoffs. You know these people. They believe their horns have freaking powers that will solve all of the world’s traffic if they just beep a little more.
Traffic backed up all the way to Carnegie coming into town through the Fort Pitt Tunnels? No problem, bro. Just lean on your horn as hard and for as long as you can manage. That will make the surely make the traffic move.
Yesterday, I was sitting on Baptist Road coming away from the South Park Shops. At the intersection of Baptist and Broughton Road, there was construction and men directing traffic at all four corners of the intersection. You can clearly see this. They are not hard to miss in their beautiful bright orange vests. The lights were not blinking yellow, but still changing. Even though the light is green, you can’t necessarily drive because traffic is being dictated by our construction buddies.
I am about 4 cars behind the light, and the jagoff behind me starts her crap. HOOOOOOOONK!!!! HONK HONK HOOOOOOOOONK!!! I turn around, give her a dirty look and motion to the construction. My son asks me what the person is beeping for. I grit my teeth and tell him “Because some people are stupid.” She continues to honk. The guy in the car beside me starts laughing. He can see my frustration. Glad you are entertained, jagoff.
My son saved me from getting out of the car and walking up to the woman’s window to tell her what I thought of her horn blowing and what else she could blow. I almost became THAT jagoff.
I understand the light is green, lady. But blowing out my ear drums with your ignorant horn blowing isn’t making this traffic move! HOOOOOONK! HONK HONK HONK HONK HOOOOOOOONK!
Next time you’re sitting in traffic and feel the need to vent your frustrations, find something constructive to do. Keep some needle point in your glove box or something because I have news for you: Your horn isn’t magic! YOU CANNOT CURE TRAFFIC, YA JAGOFF!