Sep 14 2015
You know, “That Guy” that ALWAYS “goes” on company time and stinks up the place with NO SHAME whatsoever? I came accross one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was God Awful.
And I don’t understand this cuz I’m not able to take care of that issue in public places if you know what we mean!!! Basically because I can’t stand POTENTIALLY being identified as “THAT GUY” that left the restroom stinky.
Due to this raging restroom paranoia, I actually came up with a plan for emergency bowel issues while you’re at work: a secret set of “poop shoes” — a special pair of shoes that you smuggle into the bathroom and use for those times when you just HAVE to go while at work.
Think of it, the last time when you went to a bathroom, ladies or guys, and it smelled, you probably could see the culprit’s shoes under the stall AND INSTANTLY RECOGNIZED who in the workplace needed to eat some potpourri.
With the “poop shoes” nobody will know it’s YOU in the stall! Simply smuggle the pair of “poop shoes” into the bathroom when nature calls. Quickly slip on the “poop shoes” before you sit down then let ‘er rip! When someone comes into the restroom and hears you writhing in pain or your bellowing “gas echo” and looks under the stall to see “who dat?” they will see your “poop shoes.” (HINT: this doesn’t work if you wear one-of-a-kind argyle socks.) When the mission is complete, you simply exit the stall while the restroom is empty – put your REAL shoes back on and smuggle your “poop shoes” back to your office or cubicle.
Ok.. back to “Willie The Waste Management Work-Time Waster.” First, for the record, the pic above is SIMULATED cuz even I don’t take pics in a bathroom! Secondly, hey “Willie The Waste Management Work-Time Waster” who sat in the bathroom until his legs were probably asleep and left the toilet with more skid marks than runway 2-9 Right at the Pittsburgh airport has …. how about a COURTESY FLUSH, Ya Jagoff????????
If you’re new to this blog, check out our OTHER “Work Jagoffs” HERE and maybe this will spark YOU to catch a workplace Jagoff!