Sep 28 2011
Seriously, if this parking epidemic keeps up, we’re gonna ask West Penn AAA to stop handing out TripTiks and start handing out “Parking T-Squares and Protractors!” Parking in between two parallel lines MIGHT actually be the most frequent post here. (Even more posts than we have about NFL Commissioner Roger Go-Ta-Hell.)
The car on the left was in the Einstein Bagels lot in Greentree. And if ya know the location, you know that there about 12 parking spaces in the whole lot – parking there is more of a premium than a Pirates’ winning season. But, that made no difference to the lady (yes it was a lady) when she spun the family big-rig into that spot. (Hey, as long as SHE had a spot, who cares!)
The pic on the right is in the Shadyside parking garage. Our VERY FIRST, “Jagoff Sandwich” as TJ, our web guy, called it. Two drivers that went to the same parking school. Or, even worse, two drivers that don’t care about anyone else but themselves. It may not look like it, but, I verified, you could NOT get a car in between those two and still get out of your car without using the sunroof as an escape hatch.
At this point, you may be asking yourself, “He Ya Jagoff, why were YOU hanging out in Shadyside anyway?” Well, there was a taste-testing at, Planet Smoothie-Pittsburgh. I gotta tell ya, I was SOLD after the first sip!!! We tasted 6 smoothies. ALL were good, like “touching that special spot in your ear with a Q-tip making your eyes cross” good. My favorites were the Chocolate Elvis (Cocoa, Peanut Buter, Bananas, Yogurt and an energy blast) and the Acai (Acai, apple, strawberries, bananas).
I know what our “Iron-City-Chips-Wings-and-Cheeseball” invibing followers are gonna say about us drinking smoothies. To that we poo-poo you and say, “quit yer yappin’ until ya try one, Ya… well, YOU know that drill!”
Back to parking….if you look in the right column under DRIVING or PARKING LOT JAGOFFS, you will see that we have offered many solutions including “bowling lane bumpers” for the parking impaired but, we think this isn’t really a matter of not KNOWING how to park. It’s more of a “NOT CARING” how to park thing.
So to all you Peter-Parkers that don’t care about taking two parking spots, here’s what we are proposing to the Parking Gods – hire some of the guys that manage those North Side parking lots during Steelers games to work THESE lots during the week. Ya know, those guys that charge $45 CASH for every spot you take? We guarantee that will teach ya how to park in ONLY one spot because, at THAT rate, EVERYONE figures out how to squeeze their Winnebago-and-trailer-tailgate-wagon into a spot the size of a Smart Car, Ya Jagoffs!
Or just go visit: 5608 Walnut Street, Pittsburgh, PA 15232