Toilet Plunger Jagoffery

3,482,291 comedians and wanna-be-comedians (you know… those people that drink at parties that think they should have a NetFlix stand-up special) have joked about the silly “wash, rinse, repeat” instructions on the shampoo bottle or the “hot” symbol on coffee.

But…(or since this is about toilet plungers perhaps I should say BUTT… yeah, I’m crafty like that) this is stupidity to another level.

SIDE NOTE: In my young, waiting around for the next call and idle and bored looking for something to do paramedic days, my friend Eric found an old plunger in the ambulance garage. Layers of cobwebs were the least of what was on that thing that had been laying underneath the laundry sink. He needed beer money for that weekend so he challenged everyone. Without washing it off, he would lick the widest part of the plunger, all the way around once and we would give him whatever amount of money we bet that he WOULDN’T do it.  Well, he sat there and did it. Did it so well that we all through more money at him to get him to stop!  As we were all gagging, he dropped the plunger and walked, with his mouth wide open and tongue hanging out, directly to the bathroom where he proceeded to scrub his tongue and teeth with a toothbrush for god knows how long! He collected his money from the coffee table first of course!

Back to the sitch (situation at hand as the young ones say). What makes someone think they should return a used plunger? Wait! After it has unclogged a nasty poop, paper and urine filled toilet, what makes someone want to put that nasty a$$ plunger in their car to DRIVE it to the store to return it?

Maybe the sign should be changed (well, it SHOULD be changed because of the poor grammar but…) for OUR purposes, maybe the sign should read, “All Plungers Are Not Returnable Unless Licked By John’s Bud Eric-the-Champion-Plunger-Licker.”

Bottom line? If you by a plunger, keep it to your nasty self or sell it as a silly hat at a flea market, Ya Jagoffs!