Jan 3 2018
Awwww hell nawwww!!! Good ol’ Eleanor Thorpe decided that the EMS professionals assessing and treating her father needed a bit of a beating…right in the middle of taking care of him. By the way, her dad was having a hard time breathing so not a great time for her to start playing Rockem, Sockem, Robots!!
See full KDKA-TV Report by Ross Guidotti here.
Eleanor got all wound up to the point that she blocked the EMS providers from leaving and then she ALLEGEDLY fought with the police when THEY arrived.
Elly.. (do you mind if we call ya Elly?) (I’m sure you do and would probably come at MY throat too for that but you’re in jail and I am not!) Elly, ya might wanna lay off the coffee, girlfriend. It would appear that it’s making ya kind of edgy.
Listen, we have the perfect defense for you. “I was working out, doing my cross-fit punching bag routine when SUDDENLY my dad started having problems breathing. I called 9-1-1 (which is VERY difficult with boxing gloves on and Siri doesn’t work for $h1t with a mouthpiece in) but still had 17 minutes left in my workout when they arrived. Unfortunately for them I was feeling kind of JACKED! I have been working intensely for 5 months on getting rid of these doggone bingo arms and they kinda got in my way, kinda ruined my mojo!”
Good stuff, huh? 1-800-Jag-Defense if ya want me!
In the meantime, enjoy the ol’ incarceration time, Ya Jagoff!